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Audi's "Zero Lag" Turbo Diesel: More Like Zero EnthusiasmAlright, so Audi's still clingin... Audi's "Zero Lag" Turbo Diesel: More Like Zero Enthusiasm
Alright, so Audi's still clinging to diesel like it's 2015. And they're trying to sell us on this "zero lag" turbo V6 with a mild-hybrid system and an electrically powered compressor. Give me a break.
Diesel's Last Gasp?
The article says diesel market share is tanking in Europe. Down to eight percent! EIGHT PERCENT! Behind hybrids, gasoline, and even PHEVs. PHEVs! The automotive equivalent of a participation trophy is outselling diesel. That's gotta sting.
But Audi, bless their hearts, are all, "Nah, we're good. We won Le Mans with TDI, remember?" Yeah, well, I also remember Dieselgate. You know, the small detail of emissions-cheating devices. Good times.
And now they're bragging about a 3.0-liter V6 with 295 hp and 428 lb-ft of torque. Okay, those aren't terrible numbers. But they're acting like it's revolutionary. It's a diesel! It's supposed to have torque!
The real kicker is this electrically powered compressor. It's supposed to eliminate turbo lag. They claim it offers response "comparable to a similarly powered electric car." Oh, please. If I wanted an electric car, I'd buy an electric car. Not some Frankensteinian diesel-electric hybrid that's trying to pretend it's something it's not.
And this whole thing is debuting in the A6 and Q5. Exciting. Really setting the world on fire. We're talking about station wagons here, people.
Speaking of excitement, I'm still waiting for someone to explain why car companies are so obsessed with making their cars sound like vacuum cleaners. Is that really the future we want? Silent, soulless transportation pods?
Complexity = Catastrophe
Then there's this line: "As impressive as all of this sounds, the diagram illustrating the drivetrain’s complexity would have us worried that something could go awry." You know what? Yeah, it does worry me! More parts = more problems. Especially when you're talking about adding electric compressors and mild-hybrid systems to a diesel engine that's already on its last legs.
They say durability has been improved. Sure, Jan. And this isn't even a new engine! It's just the latest "evolution" of a VW Group diesel from 2010. So, basically, they're polishing a turd and trying to sell it as gold.
Oh, but it can run on hydrotreated vegetable oil (HVO)! That's supposed to reduce CO₂ emissions by up to 95 percent. Great. So, now I can feel slightly less guilty while driving my diesel-powered station wagon. Progress!
The article mentions the Q7 and Q9 might get this engine next year. Whoop-de-doo. What about the A7 and A8? "Unlikely to get a next generation." Translation: nobody cares about diesel anymore, even Audi.
I saw this article the other day about a guy who souped up a junkyard Nissan VK56 V8 with a turbo and got almost 700 wheel horsepower. Now that's interesting. That's the kind of thing that makes you want to get behind the wheel and, offcourse, break the law. This Audi diesel? Not so much. I saw Junkyard Nissan V8 Lays Down Nearly 700 WHP With a Turbo and Little Else the other day about a guy who souped up a junkyard Nissan VK56 V8 with a turbo and got almost 700 wheel horsepower. Now that's interesting. That's the kind of thing that makes you want to get behind the wheel and, offcourse, break the law. This Audi diesel? Not so much.
Are We Being Punked?
So, let me get this straight: Audi is trying to convince us that a complicated, expensive, and ultimately pointless diesel engine is the future? Are they serious? Or are they just messing with us? Because it feels like they're messing with us.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe there's a secret cabal of diesel enthusiasts who are just waiting for the perfect "zero lag" turbo V6 to come along. Maybe I'm completely out of touch with reality.
Nah. Ain't buying it.